


knife in your heart

by staryukhei



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Class Differences, Flashbacks, Forbidden Love, M/M, Mild Blood, Minor Character Death, Non-Linear Narrative, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Revolution, Royalty, Self-Indulgent, Swordfighting, Weddings, i just really wanted to write this and then it turned into the longest fic i have
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26699650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/staryukhei/pseuds/staryukhei
Summary: renjun's hand comes up to rest on jeno's, their rings clinking together melodically. "you did what you could, jen. that's enough for me."
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	knife in your heart

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this fic is told mainly through flashbacks, so anything NOT italicized is in the present, and the italicized passages are in the past!

_he's being marched down the streets of seoul, dressed in white, the color mocking him with its purity. the linen flutters in the crisp april breeze, making him shiver. someone pushes him from behind, making him stumble over the cobblestones. he nearly twists his left ankle, making him wince. the crowd lining the streets watch him in a mix of wonder and disgust, muttering to each other about him. some are loud enough for him to hear - how he looks too young, too naïve, too innocent to have been involved in something so scandalous. he blocks the comments out, face burning with shame. he stares listlessly at the cobblestones underneath his feet, blinking away the tears forming in his eyes. he's tired of all the gossiping, the whispers he kept hearing in his cell, from the guards and the servants who brought their meals. that he was a deplorable boy, luring the prince into his bed, getting one of their beloved princes involved in such awful activities. he doesn't correct anyone - that it was the prince that sought him out, not the other way around, and that it wasn't something terrible or wrong, that they were in love, just like anyone else could have been - it's not worth it. they'll just call him a liar again._

_they make it to the raised platform on the castle lawn. someone pushes him again, and he has to catch himself before he falls into the mud. he looks up, immediately regretting his decision. the entire royal family is sitting up there, all six of them, staring straight ahead, not bothering to look at their own subjects, their mouths set in grim lines, disappointed. his prince is sitting on the end, farthest from his parents, eyes swollen ever so slightly, visibly uncomfortable with being up on the platform with his parents and brothers. his heart aches, wanting nothing more than to reach out to the boy and kiss his sorrows away. but he's led up the other platform. there's an archbishop standing there, looking at him with disgust. he reaches the top, head hung in shame, refusing to meet anyone's eyes. the archbishop steps up, clearing his throat, silencing the crowd. the archbishop starts his story, lamenting the plight of the prince falling into the trap of a devil._

_the speech goes on forever. he's nearly asleep standing up when a piercing scream cuts through the crowd. his eyes widen, watching as a man dressed in all black and wielding a sword makes his way to the steps of the platform. there's a devilish glint in the man's eyes as he raises the sword, first taking a swipe at the white fabric, then towards his neck, and-_

"renjun!" a voice calls. "renjun, wake up." 

renjun sits up quickly, looking around wildly to see who called his name. jeno is there next to him, a hand on the small of his back, eyes full of worry. "you're okay, darling. you had the dream again?" jeno asks quietly. renjun nods, refusing to look at jeno, tears forming in his eyes. jeno doesn't say anything else, just pulls renjun closer to him and rocks him back and forth. they spend ten minutes just like that, just the two of them sitting in silence. renjun breaks it first - pulling himself out of jeno's hold and letting out a sigh. "i'm sorry. i'm so sorry, i know-" renjun cries, only to be cut off by jeno pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. "don't apologize, love. i'd wake up every hour if it meant you were safe.” he says, cupping renjun’s face in his hands, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. renjun’s lips lifted into an unsteady smile, looking up at jeno through his eyelashes. “i love you.” he whispers, resting his head on jeno’s chest. jeno hums, kissing the top of renjun's head. "i love you too, darling." 

jeno stays awake as renjun falls asleep, feeling his breathing become steady. jeno sighs softly, running his fingers through his hair. he thinks about life before - before his brother risked all their heads for their parents, before the church found out renjun was sharing jeno's bed, before anyone knew about the two of them. 

what a time that had been. 

just the two of them, sneaking around, giggling and kissing each other like teenagers. they were so happy then, so free. until they were caught by a passing bishop going into jeno's apartments one afternoon. then everything had gone to shit and jeno had nearly lost renjun for good. yet somehow, he hadn't.

_renjun was standing on a raised platform in front of him, being called name after name as jeno could feel his heart breaking in two. but something caught his eye - his eldest brother's hand moving ever so slightly, giving some kind of signal to one of the guards beneath them. jeno watched the guard nod slightly, pulling a green handkerchief out of his pocket. there was a scream, and a man in black leapt onto the platform near renjun, slashing at the linen cloth the boy was wearing and aiming for his neck. jeno was out of his seat in a flash, screaming for the man to stop. strong hands wrapped around him, pulling him back from the edge of the platform. "jeno! jeno, calm down. he's fine." a firm voice said, shoving jeno back into his chair. tears streaming down his face, jeno looks up at his oldest brother with a defeated expression. "i hate you. i fucking hate you, lee taeyong." he seethes, glaring at the crown prince through his tears. taeyong smiles sadly, nodding to minhyung and donghyuck slightly. "look to your left, jeno." minhyung says quietly, nodding to their parents' seats._

_there's blood spattered all over them._

_the king and queen are dead._

_"what... how... hyung? what did you... who... oh dear god." jeno murmurs, looking up at taeyong with wide eyes. taeyong only smiles, throwing his younger brother a wink before clearing his throat and moving to address the crowd, who are now panicking after watching their rulers die at the hands of a band of a mysterious swordsman._

jeno woke up to renjun playing with his hair, curled up on top of him like a kitten. jeno smiles, shifting slightly so he can kiss renjun's hand, sliding his fingers over renjun's engagement and wedding rings, admiring the tiny diamond set on a thin silver ring jeno had proposed to renjun with, and the aquamarine and diamond set in the simple silver band they had picked out for their wedding six months ago. renjun blushes, pressing a kiss to jeno's lips in a good morning. "g'morning to you too." jeno smirks, pulling away from the kiss after a few minutes. "how are you feeling, my love?" he asks, attempting to fix renjun's bedhead a bit. "i'm okay now, i think." renjun mutters, smiling up at jeno. they sit in silence for a while, just enjoying each other's company, watching the sun move higher up in the sky through jeno's window. 

"do you want to talk about it?" jeno eventually asked, carding his fingers through renjun's hair. renjun sighs and nods, moving himself out of his husband's lap. "it was the same as always... but you woke me up before the... before the blood."

_the man in black winks at renjun before deliberately missing his neck but catches his cheek accidentally, drawing a good bit of blood from the gash. renjun winces, pain tearing through his cheek. "good luck, little prince. i have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot of each other soon." the man in black smirks. bewildered, renjun tares after the man as he makes his way to the archbishop, smiling coldly before running his sword clean through his stomach. "thanks for your lovely words, sir, but i don't think they'll fit with this new reign." the man says, pointing at the royal family with blood dripping from his sword._

jeno takes renjun's hands in his, smiling sadly. "i still feel bad, love. i'm so sorry. i should have... i should have done something." jeno says, wiping away a stray tear on renjun's cheek. the older boy looks at him and shakes his head. "jeno, you didn't know. i heard you screaming, you thought the archbishop was me. i know you didn't know. i know your brothers were the ones plotting the coup, not you." renjun says, grasping jeno's hands tightly. jeno shakes his head, looking apologetically at renjun. "i could have done something. i could have stopped you from getting hurt." jeno laments, bringing his hand up to trace the scar on renjun's cheek gently. 

renjun's hand comes up to rest on jeno's, their rings clinking together melodically. "you did what you could, jen. that's enough for me." renjun says softly. 

a knock at the door interrupts the moment. the two of them share a look and jeno rolls his eyes, making renjun laugh. jeno smiles and gets up to answer the door. "good morning, your highnesses. i figured i would let you two sleep in this morning, but it's almost ten and their majesties have a meeting at noon they need you to attend." jaemin, jeno's top advisor and oldest friend, bustled into the room as soon as jeno cracked the door open. jaemin opened the red box he was carrying, sifting through the assortment of papers. "there's a speech for you to make next month in support of your brothers, a few minor documents to read... that's about it." jaemin says, passing the papers to jeno. "now, i had ms. lee press out your suits for this morning. you're both in dark green and your silver crowns - the ones from your brother's coronation. the meeting should only last a few hours this time, it's only with the young nobility. which reminds me, renjun, this is for you." jaemin finishes going over the schedule and turns to renjun, holding out a small package wrapped in paper. renjun took the gift in confusion, unwrapping the paper gently. inside lay a bracelet made of gold studded with tiny diamonds. a note flutters to the floor as renjun's eyes widen in shock. he bends down to pick up the piece of paper to read, his hands trembling slightly. he takes a deep breath and reads the note aloud. "you've beat death, you can beat anything. i love you. love, jeno." renjun reads, tears pooling in his eyes. he looks over at his husband, who's standing there sheepishly. renjun smiles, closing the distance between them, pushing himself up on his tiptoes to kiss jeno. "you could have just given it to me, you romantic." he mumbles as he wraps his arms around jeno's neck. the younger boy shrugs, kissing renjun yet again. "wasn't dramatic enough, love." he says. renjun rolls his eyes at jeno yet again and goes in for another kiss, only for it to be cut off by jaemin clearing his throat. "you need to go get dressed, you two. shoo, there's time for love later." he reprimands gently. soon enough, the pair disappear into the closet hand-in-hand, whispering to each other and giggling about whatever they were saying to each other.

it takes them nearly an hour to change. with the help of two servants and jaemin's careful eyes, renjun and jeno are dressed up in their matching suits - a sole medal hangs on renjun's for, as taeyong put it, his "undeniable bravery in the face of my fiancé." jeno's suit is bare save the family crest embroidered on his chest, identical to renjun's.

jaemin unlocks their crowns from their boxes, carrying the silver bands towards the couple. he places the smaller one on renjun's head, bowing his head out of respect. he places the larger crown on jeno's head, bowing to him as well. "their majesties are waiting for you outside. good luck, you two." jaemin says, smiling at the couple before they follow him to the front doors of their apartment. he throws the doors open to reveal taeyong, the king and jeno's oldest brother, and his husband, doyoung, the prince consort and the very assassin who murdered the archbishop in front of renjun. 

"oh, don't you look lovely! the green really suits you so well." taeyong coos, pinching jeno's cheek, much to his chagrin. taeyong laughs, offering his arm to doyoung and motioning for jeno to follow. "now, today's meeting will be a little different. we need to get the nobles' children - the ones who will someday assume their parents' positions - to agree to respect our rule, because it's been nearly two years and we have yet to hear from some of them. we also need to announce a new plan in front of them before we do it in front of their parents." taeyong says as he leads the way down the hall.

_taeyong steps up to give his speech, leaving jeno with minhyung and donghyuck to make sense of what was happening. the crowd falls quiet, eyes glued to taeyong standing over his parents' dead bodies, accompanied by the man who had just killed the king, queen, and archbishop with his sword. "good morning. as you can see, the king and queen are dead." taeyong begins, eyes hardening as he scans his audience. "yes, dear citizens, this was a planned coup. we have done away with the oppressive rule of my father. from today on, i will be taking over the country, alongside my fiancé, kim doyoung." there were some gasps and whispers that began to float through the crowd as taeyong took doyoung's hand, still covered in the king's blood. doyoung smirks, pressing a kiss to taeyong's cheek. the mutters grow louder, some of the young noblewomen beginning to cry because their chances of becoming queen were ruined. "we will work towards making a better country for everyone, but know if you resist my rule in favor of my father's, you will meet the end of a sword. thank you." taeyong finishes, his lips turning up into a slight smile as a large portion of the crowd begins to cheer, some waving dark green handkerchiefs, the same as the guard who had given the signals, to represent their support of the coup from its inception._

_jeno spots renjun, standing on the platform before him, his skin pale and blood gushing out of his face, unmoving. "renjun!" he cries, sprinting down the rickety stairs and climbing up the ladder to get to renjun. the servant boy looks jeno right in the eyes, "jeno." is all he says before he falls into the prince's arms, unconscious._

the guards outside of the throne room bow deeply when the king approaches, opening the doors for the four royals. they make their way inside the throne room, the chatter amongst the nobles dying down as the king stepped inside. taeyong smiled kindly, making his way to the podium in front of the six thrones, where minhyung and donghyuck are talking quietly, glancing out at the crowd every so often. their conversation comes to a halt when taeyong approaches minhyung, motioning for everyone to have a seat. the king whispers something in minhyung's ear and he nods, mouth set in a grim line.

taeyong approaches the podium, alone. the nobles in the room fall completely silent, looking up at the king, some admiring, some critical, still others in vile hatred. "good morning." taeyong starts, looking sternly out into the crowd. "i called you here today to ask for your support and backing behind my decision to share the crown and its responsibilities with my brother, prince minhyung, and my husband, prince consort doyoung, as a part of doing away with the old system of our ancestors. many of you and your families have already agreed and pledged to remain loyal, yet we have a few remaining families who seem to be unwilling to support this new reign. therefore, i ask you to tell me what it will take to gain your support, and i will see what i can do. however, i must warn you - you have seen what happened to my mother and father. i can and will make it happen again, if needed." taeyong finishes, his eyes sweeping the crowd one last time. "those who have not voiced their support have until the end of the calendar year. thank you." taeyong steps back, nodding to doyoung to take the podium and give his words. renjun shifts uneasily, still a little apprehensive of his brother-in-law after almost dying at his hand two years prior. jeno takes his hand and gives it a gentle squeeze, offering renjun a small source of comfort in order to calm his nerves. renjun smiles a bit, clutching jeno's hand tightly.

"i... i have a feeling something big is going to happen. something big, but something good." renjun whispers to jeno, leaning closer to his husband. jeno hums, looking at renjun curiously. "what is it, my dear?" he asks. renjun nods doyoung, looking stern at the podium, preparing for his speech. "he's going to cause it. i can feel it." renjun murmurs, looking attentively to the prince consort. jeno lets out a quiet chuckle and follows renjun's lead.

_jeno carries renjun to the palace infirmary, adrenaline pumping through his blood, tears streaming down his face. minhyung and donghyuck trail behind him, shouting at their brother to calm down. jeno doesn't hear them, too occupied with rushing into the infirmary ward, crying out for a nurse._

_a nun pulls an apron over her habit, rushing towards the prince and his lover. "your highness, calm down, please. i cannot look at the boy if you are in such a chaotic state. place him on the cot, please, and i will look after him." she says soothingly, nodding as jeno gently sets renjun on the nearest cot. she looks at the gash on his cheek and tuts, pulling a handkerchief out of her habit and dabbing at the wound gently. "is he going to be alright?" jeno asks, nearly hysterical, tears still streaming down his face. minhyung and donghyuck rush in at that moment, pulling jeno away from renjun's bedside. "please, dear god, please." he cries as his brothers drag him away. the nun gathers her supplies - some alcohol, a needle, some thread, and a few bandages. she makes quick work of cleaning the wound and stopping the bleeding, carefully stitching renjun's cheek back up. she takes her time, making sure that each stitch is neat and uniform. she sews five stitches up his cheek before snipping the string and tying it off. jeno watches vigilantly, eyes following the nun's every move, ignoring minhyung and donghyuck's efforts to calm him down._

_"your highnesses." the nun bustles over to the three princes, giving a quick bow. jeno springs to his feet, his eyes shining with hope. the nun smiles, placing a soft hand on jeno's shoulder. "he'll be okay. he didn't lose much blood, i think he was just overwhelmed. he'll be up any moment now." she says. jeno starts crying again, but out of happiness this time. renjun is okay. he's safe and healthy again, not dead. he's alright._

_true to the nun's word, renjun wakes up within the hour. he's still a bit foggy, not fully conscious, but he recognizes jeno. the couple lay together on renjun's cot, jeno playing with renjun's curls and renjun telling jeno all about his experiences in the dungeon. the nun tells renjun that as long as he is careful with his cheek and doesn't do anything too reckless, he's fine to leave. she warns him that it will scar over, but renjun pays it no mind. what a better way to show your love than a scar you got because you loved someone?_

renjun is right about doyoung's announcement - it is big. 

he announces his plan to raise up the lower classes and treat them fairly. "i was nine years old when i left school. i did not receive an education like you all did. i did not have tutors like you all did. i was apprenticed to a blacksmith at nine years old to help my family make ends meet. yet, we still could not. so, i turned to illegal activity. which led to me becoming an assassin." he says, his tone remaining steady. renjun looks at him in sympathy - he knows exactly what that was like. his parents had died when he was eleven, leaving him in the midst of his servant training in the palace. he tries to shake that memory - thinking of his parents always made him feel terrible. instead, he refocused on what doyoung had to say. "...starting today, the king, the crown prince, and i are implementing a law that ensures all children, regardless of status, stay in school until their 17th birthday. we will also be granting multiple pieces of land across the country to build schools that any child can attend, free of charge." doyoung finishes, surveying the room. the nobles are chattering again, mostly pleased to see a new reign of social change be ushered in, but some of the older noble families - the more traditional ones - seem critical. 

doyoung does not seem to care. he simply turns on his heel and goes to sit next to taeyong, who kisses his hand gently before standing to thank everyone for coming and dismiss them for the time being. jeno helps renjun up, taking his arm to lead them back to their apartments.

_jeno proposes to renjun the night after taeyong's coronation, and renjun doesn't hesitate to say yes._

_their wedding is a simple affair - for royalty, at least. jeno wears a dark red suit, complimenting renjun's dark green one, and his golden crown. the cathedral was open for the public, as requested by renjun. the pews are filled with a mix of jeno's extended family, nobles, and citizens excited to see a royal wedding. renjun requested for taeyong and doyoung to walk him down the aisle and they had both happily agreed. taeyong nearly cries when renjun asks him to stand in for his parents. doyoung even tears up a little bit, an uncommon gesture for the usually controlled prince consort._

_jeno is standing at the front of the church when the music swells and the back doors open. renjun appears, one arm looped with taeyong's, the other with doyoung's, dressed in his dark green suit, looking like he's stepped straight out of heaven. jeno gasps, letting a tear slip down his cheek as renjun slowly walks towards him, smiling sweetly. as he gets closer to the altar, taeyong whispers something in his ear that makes renjun's smile grow wider. they reach the altar and taeyong kisses renjun's forehead, smiling down at him with a proud look shining in his eyes. doyoung repeats the gesture, placing renjun's hand in jeno's._

_they approach the altar together, hand in hand, just as they were when they were caught sneaking around in the first place._

**Author's Note:**

> i started this fic 5 weeks ago as a little self-indulgent au, but now it is my longest work on here and i cannot believe i managed to finish it in a little over a month! it would mean a lot to me if you left any comments or feedback you may have :) 
> 
> thank you for reading <3


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